Crazy week! broken bones and a new baby to come!

So a quick up date,  after we went to the doctors on Wed and didn't get to see a doctor, I was super upset and wanted to talk to the doctor but knew he was going to be out of town for my 39 week apt too so called in to see if I could at least get his option.  They told me to come in and see the doctor on Friday.  So I went in and I have to say I LOVE my doctor, Dr. Kirkman he is so nice and makes me feel so good and at peace, we talked about a game plan and he checked me and I was a 2-3cm and 70% effaced, Stella was trying to turn so the doctor helped her turn and it hurt but only for about a minute or 2.  He got her head down but said there's a good chance she'll flip again, so he recommend getting induced so we could make sure she's the right way and have less chance of a c-section. So he said Thursday he would induce me which is funny because my guess was the 22nd, Friday!  Maybe I'll be right!  Plus he'll be out of town a lot the next week and if anything doesn't go as planned I really would like him there since I trust him and we're comfortable with him.
This morning started off great, Cavin has been a little sick with a  cough and so he woke up early and I tried to rock him back to sleep, he was so cute, he had his head on my belly and said, "BABY" and lifted up my shirt and put his head down and started talking to baby Stella, it almost made me cry it was so cute, Cavin is seriously so excited for his baby, I can't believe how much he knows and loves his sister!  Oh I'm just so excited for our family!!  I love my sweet little guy and I love our baby girl!
Then this afternoon, Marcus and I went for a walk to see Grandma Freda and get Cavin's bike so as we walked down we said thursday would be a good day and decided to go ahead with thursday if everything was still a go when we saw the doctor that morning.  We worked out our schedules and made a plan.
We where playing with all the toys and went down stairs and talked to Grandma and Cavin was playing and all of sudden heard this weird Cry from him, usually if he gets hurt as soon as we pick him up he's done crying, but this time Marcus picked him up and wouldn't stop crying he was really sad with tears (also weird for him).  He had fallen off the side of the stairs so where a rail is there was a gap so fell straight to the floor 2 steps up.   I didn't see him fall since it was around the corner.  We started to walked home and he cried the WHOLE way so a good 30 minutes from the time of the fall. we started to notice he wasn't moving his left arm, so when we got home Marcus tried to get him to use it and he wouldn't,  he tried to sign bikes (his Favorite sign)  and he started to and just cried and didn't sign it.  When we got inside we took off his jacket and his left wrest was swollen and red and he wouldn't use it, we  took him to the ER just to make sure, we didn't want to risk anything with a little guy.  Even though it was hard to believe he could actually brake his arm.
We got to the ER and everyone was so nice and got us in fast and an x-ray, and sure enough his arm was broken on both bones….. WHAT???!!! my little 17 month old has a broken arm!!!  I just can't believe it, I'm so grateful for the comfort of the spirit because my Heavenly Father knows me, he knew to send the spirit at that second to say it was an accident and not my fault, because as a mom I started to feel guilty but knew it was an accident and this is sad and a real bumper but just happens.
They put a splint on it because it was too swollen to put a cast on.  We will go to see our doctor and put a cast on it in a couple days, supposed to be THURSDAY, baby day but I'm going to call and hopefully get it on Wednesday.  Even as I'm typing this I still can't believe my baby has a broken arm.  I feel horrible.  I'm trying not to stress out but am feeling a little over-welhemed.   Poor Cavin just doesn't get why his arm hurts and he doesn't get whats going on.
We got home and Anna was over with Troy and Colby and Cavin just loves baby colby, I wanted to cry, he just wants to hold him and love him, he smiles at him and talks with him.  Cavin wants to be close to him all the time.  He just lights up when he sees the baby.  I'm just excited for Cavin to have a baby sister.  They are going to be so close and we're going to have a great time!
Cavin doesn't like the wrap and keeps trying to rip it off so we'll see how this goes!  My poor little man is having a ruff time and I just feel so bad for him because I'm sure it's achy and thinks the wrap is what's hurting him but really it's helping it not to hurt as much.
We gave him so Motrin and put him to bed, he went down just like another night, we put one of marcus' big socks over it so hopefully he won't pick at it!  hope he sleeps well and feels better in the morning!  Wow-zers what a day!  I'm so grateful Marcus was there and kind of different Cavin just wanted his dad, which I was okay with and soooooo happy and grateful Marcus is the world's best dad, at first I was a little sad he didn't want me, but I quickly changed my way of thinking and said I'm so lucky to have a husband and a dad for my kids that they love him!  It actually made it nice since I couldn't go with him in the x-rays and he was happy that his dad was holding him.

38 weeks and ready to be done!!

Today has been an emtional day, I feel fine normal pregnant big and achy, but really good compared to how I felt with Cavin!! I don't know why I do this even though Cavin was late I keep hoping she'll come sooner, I just want to have my body and energy back!! I want to be the mom to Cavin that I know I am when I'm not huge and uncomfortable. I can't get as much done as I normally can, because I get so tired and feel yucky if I do too much.
I'm ready to hold my baby girl to cuddle her and love her! I want to see what she looks like, I want to smell that baby sweat smell, I want to kiss her little toes! I want to sleep and not wake up all night because I'm tossing and turning. At least when you wake up to feed you can go back to sleep!
I'm anxious to know when and how she's going to come! I'm anxious to see how everything goes with Cavin! I know he's going to love his little sister!
Stella is still super high and killing my ribs, I just started getting achy in my hips but mainly because I'm so heavy it hurts to stand, even to shower and brush my teeth is too long, I sound like an old grandma. She doesn't move a lot durning the day just right before I go to bed and about 3 Am!
I just went to the doctor she Stella is breech, I was pretty mad because the doctor was full and so I had to see the PA and he had no answers he didn't even listen to her heart beat so I wanted a whole week(long time for a pregnant girl) to only hear bad news with no answers.
So I know not many people actually read my blog so I need to vent!  I hate this I am so upset about the whole thing, I want my baby in my arms safe and healthy.  I am so jealous and mad at those girls who have these easy great pregnancies, I feel like everyone does it better then me, I've dreamed of having a big family my whole life, there is nothing I want more! To be honest havin two kids 18 months apart I'm not even worried about it, I think I'll handle it great and we'll have a blast!  The part I hate the most is pregnancy!!! With Cavin I was so sick and hurt a lot all the time, with Stella over all I've felt good up until about 35 weeks I just feel like I'm on that ride at a park that makes you feel so heavy you can't move, I hate not being able to be the BEST mom I know I can be, I love to run and chase Cavin. Cavin loves his bike and I just want to ride with him but I can't. I can't get down and really play.  Then I find out Stella is breech it makes me feel like I did even more wrong, I didn't exercise enough or sleep right or whatever, I know people will say it's not my fault but I just don't understand why I can't have an easy smooth pregnancy.  I want such a good thing, big happy family, but I really am starting to think I can't do this anymore, I get so emotional and feel so down, I seriously feel so depressed today and just want to cry all day, I hate the way I look feel and how I act, I just want to be happy healthy and strong and I don't feel any of that right now! I just want this baby to flip and  come out!! I want to feel healthy and happy again I just want want to play with Cavin and Stella and be the mom and wife I was born to be!
I am grateful and excited to have a baby and I know two weeks isn't that long but  it feels like forever when you feel so yucky and depressed , I wish I could just snap my fingers and feel better but to be honest I don't know if I've ever been this emotionally upset and  sad. I don't even know what I need  to feel better I honestly feel so lost and scared, I know Stella is healthy and I know cavin is going to be just fine if I  can't play with him like he wants all the time but I'm scared that I feel so lost and alone. I feel like a horrible  wife because all I do is cry and complain. But I just can't get out of this feeling.  I love my amazing husband so much and wish I was a better wife for him.
I'm just ready to not be pregnant anymore! I'm grateful I can get pregnant and I'm grateful I have a healthy baby!

37 weeks full term!

Wow this pregnancy is flying by, I am ready to hold my little girl!! I can't believe in 3 weeks I could be a mom of two!! I can't wait! I feel pretty good just ready to have a baby! I have good and bad days but mainly good days just hard nights.  I can't complain. I have a great husband and an amazing little guy!
No progress from the doctor so kind of a bummer but I think she'll come when she's good and ready!

Halloween 2013

Halloween was so fun this year Cavin was at such a fun age! We went trick or treating with Anna, Troy, and Colby on Main Street, you go to all the stores and they each have a treat it was so fun! Cavin picked up really fast on the whole thing! He saw a bucket of candy and picked his favorite said thank you and ran to the next! After a while he noticed all the kids have buckets of candy and thought that was for him to pick one too!! So he'd walk up to the other kids buckets and steal a piece of candy!! I know the other kids didn't like it but it was so cute and so funny! I always gave the candy back! Cavin loved all the suckers and would put one in his mouth then when he got a new one put it on the floor and opened a new one! It was great for me cause I would just throw them away!!
Cavin was so cute and we had a blast! That night we had a couple parties with friends and it was fun! I'm not one to dress up but I love to hang out with friends!
I love being a mom, but I love it even more when there are fun holidays and things to do with Cavin!