day one of Cavin's life!!

 Dad got the great opportunity to give Cavin his first bath!! only a couple hours old but Cavin already knows and loves his dad!

all clean!!

 Marcus loves Cavin so much, he likes to chil with him!

 Cavin's grandparents sure think he's great and love to look at him!!

 I just love this guy he's my everything!! look how perfect he is!!

 all dressed to go home!! 

 In the car seat!!

 HOME SWEET HOME!!  sometimes Marcus can get him to sleep better then me!! so nice!!

 all bundled or bed!!  Thanks grandma and papa Bruce for my co-sleeper!!

Cavin Marcus Bruce

Cavin's Story.......
It all started Monday night, Marcus and I went to Avengers with my mom, it was a great movie, but I was really uncomfortable the whole time it was kind of normal but I didn't feel normal.  After the movie we went back to my mom's to get our car and Marcus rode the scooter from work.  So we had to drive home separate, Marcus stopped off to get gas. I went straight home about half way home, I about lost it and just felt so yuck and I started to get a little tear and said a pray and begged Heavenly Father to help me feel better (all while driving!) while about 30 seconds later my water broke!  I wasn't sure at that time but felt something and actually just thought I had a little gas. I pulled the car into the garage and stood up and the a large flood of water dripping to my ankles, I ran inside and dripped from the kitchen to the bathroom then sat down and a large flow again!  I started to get really excited and nervous! "Where's Marcus??!" I hurried and called him and started to cry cause it finally time!! I just was so excited and couldn't believe it!!
I called my mom and told her, and then they started contractions that hurt really bad, i had to get off the phone and focus, Marcus finally got home and helped me get into the shower and get new clothes!  he did a great job of getting all our stuff into the car and ready to go.
by the time I had 5 Contractions they hurt so bad and where only 3 minutes apart from the beginning!  I thought I was going to pass out.  We left the house about 10:30pm, one hour after my water broke.
At the hospital things got worse really fast.  I couldn't re leave the pain at all, my back hips and stomach just hurt!  No one can prepare you for that.  I tried to breath through them but just felt so sick and horrible, I told Marcus, "I don't feel good."  before he could answer I just throw up ALL over.  It was sooooooo horrible, my amazing Husband just loved me and rubbed my back, but here's the thing I throw up all over him, from head to toe!  I got his face, glasses, shirt, shorts, legs, and even his shoes..... oh boy!  Marcus just focused on me and was truly my hero through this whole thing.
The checked my and I hadn't really dilated so I wasn't sure what to do about an epidural or what... Marcus showed and my mom showed up just in time to hold my hand through the next few contractions while he regrouped!
At 2 am they finally decided I was in true labor, not knowing for sure if my water broke, I don't know why, but they couldn't get a good test of it.  Anyways 2 am I was dilated to a 3, so they saw enough to know I was truly in labor they started my IV and antibiotics.  after about 5 hours of labor I was ready for an epidural.
I got the epidural and they checked me a little bit later and was dilated to a 5+ at 3:30!!!  I then rested as much as I could, Marcus and my mom slept.  I was a little uncomfortable just feeling like my bum was a sleep from sitting for so long.  I just wanted to move and couldn't really move.
5 am they came back in to check me and I was a 9+ so 4 cm in just and hour and a half!!  great news!  I was ready to be done sitting and ready to push!
They checked me again at 530 and I was fulling dilated, they said in an hour we'll start pushing so get your rest now, but as soon as they left I started to get really nervous,  I didn't know how pushing would feel and I just didn't know,  well I had my Super Amazing Husband Marcus give me a blessing and I felt sooo much better and was able to sit with him and laugh together, I can't say it enough how my husband should have been in the Movie the Avengers cause he is truly my super HERO!!  there is no way I could have done it without him.  I'm grateful for my mom and grateful she had been through it to clam me down also.
630 came and they started to set up they taught me how to push and told me a few tricks.  so we practiced a few time and the did their thing and Marcus helped me count out pushes.
7 Dr. Kirkman came in to check me and said he had a C-section at 730 but would be back at 8 and thought I'd take that long anyways, so he left and I kept pushing.  It wasn't painful at all just got tired and didn't really feel any progress til about 730 and I felt a lot more pressure down there and so they checked me and said, "oh wow you're crowning."  so this part was the worse they told me NOT to push but I had that I HAVE to push feeling.  it was so much harder to not push then to push!
They told dr kirkman, he came at 8 am like promised I pushed 4 times and at 8:06 am Cavin Marcus Bruce out screaming his lungs out!!
I did have the mirror to watch him come and I LOVED it I loved seeing his head and I just had to push so I could hold him!!  I got to hold him right away and I just couldn't believe what had just happened!!  a baby a real life baby just come out of my belly!!  I just had to shed a tear because I couldn't believe it finally happened!!
Marcus cut the cord and they took him and washed him up.  I was left to do the hard dirty work.  Marcus was back and forth holding our hands.  The placenta was harder to deliver then I thought it would be, harder then Cavin, believe it or not.  but it was over not too much later.
so 10 hours of Labor and I had the cutest little boy that was worth every second of it.  For me I have to say being Pregnant was harder then Labor and delivery.  (with an epidural)
It was almost an hour before I could hold my baby for real and it was hard I just wanted him!!!
Cavin was 6 lbs 7 ozs 20 inches long 13 cm head, just a perfect little guy!
 So that's our story!!  Next will be our first could days together!  another nap time to come!!  I LOVE HIM AND MARCUS SOOO MUCH!! 

40 weeks

Okay so this is going to sound pretty negative but I just need to get it out!!! Everything with the baby looks good he is growing big and strong, so we're super blessed in that way. But we have no baby yet!!!!
This is totally my fault, because I really was convinced I was going to have this baby early, I thought for sure he'd come the first of may when I was feeling so yucky, then I got better so then I thought for sure he was coming 2 weeks again when I thought my water broke, then the past 2 weeks I've been feeling so tired and sick and thought this must me it!!  Well I set myself up for disappointment too many times, it's sooo hard to wait for something so long that you've been waiting for a life time!! 
This weekend I thought for sure he's coming since Thursday I was so super sick I even left work early the first time in 7 years of working there I have ever left for a sick day.  I slept for hours and hours on Thursday, Friday, and even Saturday.  I have been sooo tired and feel I can sleep any where any time!! 
Saturday I felt so sick I was surehe was coming, my body ached and I felt his head between my legs!!  I could hardly walk! 
Sunday I felt okay just hard to go to church and have everyone shocked I was sill there!  Me too!!  I wanted to be in the hospital with my new baby! 
Today I'm feeling better, well not sad, he's not here, just ready to hold him!!  I don't mind being pregnant, really it's the waiting that's hard for me, I've been super lucky and don't have swollen ankles or really any problems, I ache and can't move as fast as normal, but over all I've been pretty blessed. 
This morning Marcus and I went for a 3 mile walk/jog it was so fun!! I seriously am so in love with him.  I just get to spend a couple hours a day with him and it brightens my whole day!  He's at work now and I miss him already!  There is no one that can make me so happy, I feel so lucky to have truly Married my best friend!!  We talked on our walk today about our baby and I just keep thinking I'm going to have to compete for my sons love cause I know Marcus will be his best friend!  They'll just laugh and play together and I'll have to be the bad mom that says it's time for bed!!  Oh well I'm so happy they'll be friends! 
Last night I woke up at 2 am and felt sooo much pain, I had a strong contraction, and so tried to get up and move a little but it hurt so much I couldn't move finally it was over so I got up and went the bathroom then got on the birthing ball!  and did some other stretching I was taught,  I thought if this goes on I'll wake Marcus, I had strong can't walk or talk contractions for 2 hours and was sure this was it!  I went back upstairs to get Marcus and no more..... arrrr  this just is so hard, to keep getting my hops up.  Oh well I think it's close it has to be!  Today is  a beautiful sunny day so maybe he was just waiting for the sun to come out instead of the rain we've been having the past 3 days!  I don't know, but he's still moving and seems to be happy where he is so I guess I'll just be happy he's happy inside me! 
Wow 40 weeks has come and I can't believe it really could happen any day any time now! I hope it happens and I don't have to be induced, I really want this to be as natural as possible! 
Can't wait to meet you baby JaMarucs Bruce!! 

LIFE, I LOVE IT

 So I wanted to post some pictures we hadn't put up yet!!

 Date night with Marcus is always my favorite day of the week!!  we had a great time together!!  I really love him and my love just grows every day for  him! we went to dinner and walked the mall then got shaved ice!!  yummy

 My garden!  we planted all the pots, most of everything here was started by seeds, except the tomatoes.  they are growing fast! I hope we have a great planting year this year!

 Troy on Mother's Day, he's just so cute! I wish his cousin would come to join him!! :)  I really hope our baby has big blue eyes like him!!  I love troy!

 For Mother's day we made dinner for our mom's at our place it was fun!!  we're taking advantage of living close to our mom's and spending time with both of them!!

My first Mother's day as a soon to be mom!! I just love being a mom!! I know it's not 100% yet, but I already feel I take care of my baby each day inside of me and I love to see him grow and move every day!!

 One of my favorite things about summer is seeing my SUPER HOT husband ride his bike, I love it for a few reasons, one he's so happy on his bike, two I'm just proud of him, he's so good!  Three it just makes me happy inside!  I LOVE YOU MARCUS forever!! 

39 weeks

39 weeks, I thought I've never make it!! :)  this guy is not feeling so little anymore, he's getting so big, he dropped so really low but still kicking my ribs cause he getting big, I really hope he's not a 9 ponder!!  my guess and 100% a guess is 7lbs 6 ozs just because I think that'd be a good size!! 
The past few days I haven't felt good not horrible but  I just feel like I'm going to throw up all the time and just achy feeling. 
Sunday I was having some good contractions that where strong and coming every 10 minutes so I hurry and went to bed thinking I might be up a lot in the night, but I woke up at 5:30 am. I haven't slept through the night in months!!  wow it was so great!  I got up and went on my walk!  I was happy to get the sleep but I totally went to bed thinking this really could be it.....  sad.  I know I still have a week but for some reason I really feel he should come before and not after his due date!  I have a dr apt on Wednesday so we'll see what he says and go from there I guess. 
I'm working today and really just think I'm done!  I just stand here and the new girls can do most everything without me so I don't think I'll come back after today, well Tomorrow we don't work so I'll come clean and answer the phones, then I'll really be done!!  I need some Jessica time!!  rest, clean, and just do whatever I want to!!  ;)  who knows the next time I'll be able to just do my thing!  (hopefully I won't have anytime really soon!!) 
This is funny, but I think part of the reason you have to wait sooo long to get your baby here, besides them growing and developing, mom's have to wait and wait,  so like me I am so excited to meet him and hold him even though I have to get up all night and feed him I'm soo excited and ready!! I love love my little guy so much already that I'd so anything to get him here safe and soon!! 
I watch a YouTube video (I know I'm weird)  of this girl giving birth and it was crazy!!! I got a little nervous but then I thought that's not me and I'm really different then this girl.  I keep telling myself I'm strong and my body is made to deliver this baby!!! 
I think Marcus picked a name and I really like it!  It just fits and now we have everything ready and his name I just need HIM!!!  I keep telling him to just come out and I'll keep him warm and love him!  I guess he doesn't believe me yet!!  5 days til my due date so hopefully soon!! 

crazy night...

So Yesterday was a crazy day, about 3:45 I was sitting on the couch and had a large gush of water, I was just in shock and said what happened, Marcus being the great husband was like did your water just break???  I thought, no way!  then I thought really could it be?  well we called the Doctor's office knowing that he would close soon, so they said watch and see if it contunies to leak and if so go to labor and delivery so we watched and it leaked for about 45 minutes then nothing. I just wasn't sure what to do,  We read on line of all the HORRIBLE things that could happen, I just thought this is why we have doctors and insurance, so we can make sure!! we went cleaning to the building we clean and the contractions got stronger and more consitatant so I thought man this might really be it. 
Then we went to get some food knowing that if this was it I wouldn't eat for a long time!!  Then we went to the Labor and Delivery!! I had feeling of pure excitment, but I kept telling myself this may or may not be it so don't get too excited, but I was sooo excited and really wanted this to be it!  Well they checked my water and it's didn't break, but it's leaking they said so they wanted to have me wait to make sure everythng was good, so I had to wait for 2 hours and I was having constitant contractions but I tried to tell her this is totally normal for me, but wanted to make sure!  so it was a long long night of nothing really, but getting my hopes up.
Then we got home and I was soooo sleepy so I went straight to bed, then at 12 I woke up with strong contractions they where very uncomforible and they didn't stop til 4 am then finally I got back to sleep and slept for 2 more hours til it was time for work..... yuck, I felt soo yucky.  Everytime I get examed down there, I get crampy contractions and feel bad.  I'm starting to feel better now so kind of bummed, nothing is happening, I'm starting to believe Marcus when he says I'll be pregnant forever!!!!  Seriously I feel like he's never coming!! I'm trying to be patient but it's hard to wait for something you're so excited for, and I'm kind of getting nerious for the labor part so I really want to get it over with!!!  Then labor part that is!

37 weeks

I'm Full Term!! so I think in my head that means time to have a baby, no more waiting!!  I wish it worked that way!!  I don't mind being pregnant but I have felt a little down the last couple of days, I feel better now so I can write a little about it, mainly because If anyone goes though this like I have I don't want them to feel alone like I do, I think it's common but I think no one talks about it.  I feel useless, I can't do what I want to, I'm so big feeling I can't move easily and I can't just go for a run like I'd love to.  No one wants me to carry anything or do the dishes or work.  At work I'm training two new girls and they are catching on to most everything so I just stand there and feel I'm not needed. 
I know you might read this and think I'm needed to house my baby and that is true and very important, but At the end of the day I can't say look what I've done today or what I've accomplished today!
I love Marcus to death and he's sooo great and amazing, but he keeps telling me to rest and lay down, which makes me feel he doesn't want to be with me, totally not the case but my emotions I guess just take over. I just feel ready to be done, done with being pregnant so I can be done with my job and stay home with my baby. 40 weeks is just a really long time to wait for something sooo amazing and great!!
For my day off today I'm going to work on my Mother's day presents to my mom and Marcus' Mom!!  I wish I could do more because they both have done sooo much for us and our baby, I truly feel soo very blessed to have such great moms, this is I think one thing that started my sadness, I know now how hard it is to carry a baby for 40 weeks and I just feel so deeply grateful for my mom and Marcus' mom for him.  I know 40 weeks is nothing compared to 27 years of raising, loving, and taking care of us.  Therefore I just wish I could do more!  a small little inexpensive gift will never express how grateful we are for them!  I just pray they know how much we love them, I pray I'll be a great mom to my baby as they have been to us,  and I hope maybe our little JaMarcus can be a little gift to them!!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

One of my most favorite days of the YEAR!  My birthday!!  I still can't believe I'm 27!!  That's just so old!! I still feel 23 or 24!  I think I feel like on my mission I shouldn't have aged! haha This week end was so fun!! Wed, Thur, and Friday I wasn't feeling very good at all, super crampy and just achy so I was kind of thinking, BABY??  but no baby.  Friday I had the day off, but since I wasn't feeling great, I spent most the day in bed, which was nice but also not really a fun way to spend a day off alone in bed.  Well for me that's not fun, some people like that but not  me!  Friday night my parents had us over for my birthday dinner, and a nice blessing is that Marcus' family and  my family live close and like to do things together so they came over too!! it was so fun!  we had a great dinner, Lasagna, my favorite, well my mom's lasagna that is!  We had a yummy cold stone ice cream cake!  I can't complain about that!

I got a pedicure and khols' gift card  from my mom!  A Jumba juice gift card and VS towel and lotion and scrub from the Bruce's!! Marcus got me flowers and a foot zoning treatment, I just need to find someone to do it!!  I also got the fire pit, so I was super spoiled this year!

Saturday we had our first fund raiser for the Philippines!! we had a garage sale and it was really good, we sold a lot of things and it went smoothly!  Then we went to lunch and went to Kaysville, and went to Boondocks Marcus and I, it was sooo much fun!!  we spent over 5 hours there and we both where so tired!  we bowled, lazor tag, batting cages, go carts and mini golf!!  It was a super fun day!!  The funny thing is anything I do with Marcus is a fun day! I just really love that guy!!  He makes me laugh so much and I just feel so good being around him!!
We went out for ice cream at Farr's it was so good!!  then we drove home and I was struggling just to make it home!! I was sooo tired after a fun eventful day!
Sunday we went to church and then we got the fire pit out and had our first fire, we had hot dogs and marshmallows!  we smelled like smoke even after a shower!  but it was worth it!  I was so tired again I fell asleep sitting up in bed!! haha Being pregnant is so funny, I get so worn out so fast!
Thanks everyone for making my birthday so great!! I had a great one spending it with friends and family!!

Me oh My we're so blessed to be alive!

I know I have shared a little here and there about how we decided to have a baby and how we both knew it was right timing to start a family even though we didn't know how financially we'd get by without me working full time, but we had Faith and knew this was the Lord's plan and he'd find a way!!  Well last week we sure felt blessed by our Heavenly Father!!!  Even now it brings tears to my eyes!!  Don't worry I'm holding it in!!  Marcus has been looking for jobs and applying left and right, we have been praying like crazy.  Marcus had the opportunity to go away for the summer and work, but I just didn't want him gone and I didn't have a good feeling about it.  Then as no job offers where coming I started to question did I make a good choice by telling Marcus not to go??  I was getting a little worried as last week was the last week of school and nothing seemed to be coming.
Then all of a sudden.....  JOBS!!!  and yes that's an S on JOB!!  Marcus got not one but 2 job offers one he really wanted at a bike shop!!!  of course his dream job, working on bikes and selling top of the line bikes!  And job #2 a research job, something he may not love doing but something completely great for his resume for medical school!!  Wow wee, how do you pick??  Well he talked to both of them and guess what?? he can do part time at both!!!!!  We are totally excited and feel so blessed!! I know Heavenly Father is watching over us every day! The more I think about it the More I just know our little JaMarcus was meant to come to our family at this time!!  I just can't wait for him to come!! I'm going to be really sad if he doesn't come in May!! I can't wait til JUNE, no over-due babies, I'll probably cry every night he's over due!  :)
So Today Marcus starts both jobs and we'll just have to wait and see what exactly his schedule will be and how it'll all turn out!
I on the other hand am totally ready to be done!!  I'm training the new girl and she is catching on, so now just feel I'm wasting my time standing around,  I would rather be super busy then just standing around all day... Makes the day go so slow!!  So not only do I just want to have my baby to have him, I want to have him so I can stop working!!  I have a great job and the pay is super nice, but I'm just so ready for the next step in life!!!
My cousin had her baby last night so I think if she can have him a week early so can I!!! haha or two!!
As I go for walks he feels lower and I feel a lot of tightening on my belly!  So I guess I just need to go run a 5K or something!!  haha I've been on the Elliptical every day now, and maybe it's not helping him come but it sure makes me feel better!!  I still have the attitude that even though everyone says no working out for 6 weeks or so after a baby, I think I'll be fine after a week or so and get back to working out and going for walks, mainly because it's a drug to me, I just feel so much better when I work out!  we'll see!!

Pregnancy is a hard and funny thing

So I've been not feeling great, so of course I get excited thinking oh he must be coming soon, and then nothing....  Pregnancy is hard because I think well I don't feel good but at least it's for something good, but then it's not!  I'm just sooo excited to hold my baby and love him, I just feel done being pregnant!  It's an amazing thing and seriously a miracle but it just gets to a point of being pretty unconformable and super anxious for a baby to join our family!!  I know I need to be tough and be more patient but it's sooo hard!!
My birthday is this Saturday and really I have pretty much totally forgot about it but I can't think about anything but my little boy!!  that would be the greatest birthday present, my baby!
At the Dr. yesterday he said he can't get any lower, his head is about to come!  I'm progressing just nothing too fast.  I do have 3 weeks left, but I got in my head he's coming early so now I'm just ready for him!!
I'm ready to be done being pregnant!  I have to say I'm super lucky because I have been sleeping pretty good. I only wake up 2 times a night lately and go right back to sleep!  I may just be completely and totally exhausted though!!  :)  Another hard thing is  I'm just ready to be done working, like I always say, I love my job and super blessed to have it but I'm just ready to be a stay at home mom with my sweat baby!!
This morning Marcus made me laugh so hard and just being himself, I really love him.  I got so excited for our baby to really meet his dad, cause I know they'll be best friends!  I have already gained a strong bond with our little guy and Marcus is excited but it's not like what a mom feels and I can't wait for him to love and hold him too!!  I love how excited Marcus is now, he talks to him and try to ask him when he's coming.  Marcus told me yesterday he'll give him any food he wants and won't make him eat healthy like I will!!  I know I'll be eating my healthy oatmeal or breakfast and feeding my two boys sugar cereal and doughnuts!!!  Crazy boys!  But the truth is I love Marcus so much I think we'll be lucky if our little guy is just like him!