So a lot has been going on with the pregnancy and kind of stressful for me, I never wanted to be one of those girls that worry about everything and goes to the hospital 4 times before she actually has their baby, but now I can see it all happening!!
So we got back from Hawaii and I just wasn't feeling good, cramps/contractions, extra discharge (sorry if this is too much info) and my back hurt, I had diarrhea, and just felt yucky. Anyone other day I would just say I'm tired from travel and nothing really to worry about, but as a mom that loved her baby and really really want to see hi happy and healthy. I just kept thinking is something wrong? is this normal? well I put my feet up for a couple days and drank a lot of water. I started to feel better so wasn't too worried.
Sunday hit and I had a little experience in the middle of the night that really scared me again. so I got up Monday and had to go back to work after a bad night of sleep. My job is great and I love it, but it is a very hard job on my body and even more so when I'm pregnant. But I just didn't feel good all day, I felt weak and tired and really just yuck!! I got super dizzy and light headed, I just felt like I was going to melt down to nothing.
I went to bed that night at 6pm and slept til 6 am. Marcus is so good and helpful he made sure I ate and made me a pb sandwich, by request, cause it's my favorite lately! I felt better Tuesday still tired but not like Monday.
Wed I had my doctor's apt and told him everything that had happened and he was a bit concerned so did a little exam, and I had progressed a little in the labor part and he wasn't too happy about that only being 31 weeks, so he wanted to do an ultrasound just to check everything.
Thursday we did the ultrasound and the main things that we where concerned about where fine, so that was great news. He did say I'm at risk for a preterm baby, because, it's a first time baby and I work on my feet. And the fact that I have already started having contractions and thinning. We'll see though, I get nervous he'll be early but my gut feeling tells me everything is good and he'll be right on time!
Being pregnant and a soon to be mom is hard work!! Moms's just have that motherly love, I know he isn't born yet but I love him and I picture him and day dream about him and what he'll be like. I wonder if he'll be just like his dad!! Today I haven't felt him move much, well not like he normally does, which they say is normal cause he doesn't have as much room to move, but I still worry is he okay? Even though my heart and gut til me everything is fine, I still worry!! I'm not a mom yet but being a mom I can already til is hard work!!!
We've been talking about a Grandma's love vs a Mother's love and I think I found a big difference, it's the worry, Grandma's worry about their safety I'm sure but not a daily fear if I'm doing everything right and worried if everyone is happy, so that added stress and no sleep make is harder for a mom to enjoy the little simple moments. But a grandma just gets to enjoy them and love them and leave the stress of raising them up to the Parents!!
only 59 days til we have a baby!!! I just can't wait to hold him and SEE with my eyes that everything is okay!! I can't wait to kiss him and tell him I love him!!! I will probably never want to let go when they first let me hold him!! I can't wait!!
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