Monday, May 28, 2012

40 weeks

Okay so this is going to sound pretty negative but I just need to get it out!!! Everything with the baby looks good he is growing big and strong, so we're super blessed in that way. But we have no baby yet!!!!
This is totally my fault, because I really was convinced I was going to have this baby early, I thought for sure he'd come the first of may when I was feeling so yucky, then I got better so then I thought for sure he was coming 2 weeks again when I thought my water broke, then the past 2 weeks I've been feeling so tired and sick and thought this must me it!!  Well I set myself up for disappointment too many times, it's sooo hard to wait for something so long that you've been waiting for a life time!! 
This weekend I thought for sure he's coming since Thursday I was so super sick I even left work early the first time in 7 years of working there I have ever left for a sick day.  I slept for hours and hours on Thursday, Friday, and even Saturday.  I have been sooo tired and feel I can sleep any where any time!! 
Saturday I felt so sick I was surehe was coming, my body ached and I felt his head between my legs!!  I could hardly walk! 
Sunday I felt okay just hard to go to church and have everyone shocked I was sill there!  Me too!!  I wanted to be in the hospital with my new baby! 
Today I'm feeling better, well not sad, he's not here, just ready to hold him!!  I don't mind being pregnant, really it's the waiting that's hard for me, I've been super lucky and don't have swollen ankles or really any problems, I ache and can't move as fast as normal, but over all I've been pretty blessed. 
This morning Marcus and I went for a 3 mile walk/jog it was so fun!! I seriously am so in love with him.  I just get to spend a couple hours a day with him and it brightens my whole day!  He's at work now and I miss him already!  There is no one that can make me so happy, I feel so lucky to have truly Married my best friend!!  We talked on our walk today about our baby and I just keep thinking I'm going to have to compete for my sons love cause I know Marcus will be his best friend!  They'll just laugh and play together and I'll have to be the bad mom that says it's time for bed!!  Oh well I'm so happy they'll be friends! 
Last night I woke up at 2 am and felt sooo much pain, I had a strong contraction, and so tried to get up and move a little but it hurt so much I couldn't move finally it was over so I got up and went the bathroom then got on the birthing ball!  and did some other stretching I was taught,  I thought if this goes on I'll wake Marcus, I had strong can't walk or talk contractions for 2 hours and was sure this was it!  I went back upstairs to get Marcus and no more..... arrrr  this just is so hard, to keep getting my hops up.  Oh well I think it's close it has to be!  Today is  a beautiful sunny day so maybe he was just waiting for the sun to come out instead of the rain we've been having the past 3 days!  I don't know, but he's still moving and seems to be happy where he is so I guess I'll just be happy he's happy inside me! 
Wow 40 weeks has come and I can't believe it really could happen any day any time now! I hope it happens and I don't have to be induced, I really want this to be as natural as possible! 
Can't wait to meet you baby JaMarucs Bruce!! 

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