Thursday, May 10, 2012

37 weeks

I'm Full Term!! so I think in my head that means time to have a baby, no more waiting!!  I wish it worked that way!!  I don't mind being pregnant but I have felt a little down the last couple of days, I feel better now so I can write a little about it, mainly because If anyone goes though this like I have I don't want them to feel alone like I do, I think it's common but I think no one talks about it.  I feel useless, I can't do what I want to, I'm so big feeling I can't move easily and I can't just go for a run like I'd love to.  No one wants me to carry anything or do the dishes or work.  At work I'm training two new girls and they are catching on to most everything so I just stand there and feel I'm not needed. 
I know you might read this and think I'm needed to house my baby and that is true and very important, but At the end of the day I can't say look what I've done today or what I've accomplished today!
I love Marcus to death and he's sooo great and amazing, but he keeps telling me to rest and lay down, which makes me feel he doesn't want to be with me, totally not the case but my emotions I guess just take over. I just feel ready to be done, done with being pregnant so I can be done with my job and stay home with my baby. 40 weeks is just a really long time to wait for something sooo amazing and great!!
For my day off today I'm going to work on my Mother's day presents to my mom and Marcus' Mom!!  I wish I could do more because they both have done sooo much for us and our baby, I truly feel soo very blessed to have such great moms, this is I think one thing that started my sadness, I know now how hard it is to carry a baby for 40 weeks and I just feel so deeply grateful for my mom and Marcus' mom for him.  I know 40 weeks is nothing compared to 27 years of raising, loving, and taking care of us.  Therefore I just wish I could do more!  a small little inexpensive gift will never express how grateful we are for them!  I just pray they know how much we love them, I pray I'll be a great mom to my baby as they have been to us,  and I hope maybe our little JaMarcus can be a little gift to them!!
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2 comments:

  1. KandaceMay 10, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Hang in there girlie. You're doing beautifully. You'll be having more than your fair share of stuff to do soon enough, and you'll still look around and feel like you've accomplished nothing even though you've been running full steam ahead all day long.

    I thought 30 weeks was long. So I can only imagine what having to wait 10 more would be like. You're not alone chica. I'm pretty sure God makes us reach the point your at simply to give us the courage to face labor. At that point you're pretty much willing to do anything to not be pregnant anymore and see your baby. You'll be holding your wee one in your arms soon!

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  2. grammanewsMay 12, 2012 at 6:57 AM

    And yes Jessica I do know for sure how much you love me. No doubt in my mind at all. You do so much for me already and I guess I am just trying to help you rest and not have to do as much. So i am sorry if I have offended you by telling you not to lift things or I will do things. JUst trying to help you.
    yep we get to this point and think I will do anything to have this baby. so when labor does come you are just excited and happy to have the day come.
    love you so much and you are a great daughter and will be a great mom too.

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